If you'd like to stoop lower

A Russian scientist has recently been arrested for stealing seagulls from the state zoo in Vladivostok. His research revealed that if he fed freshly hatched seagulls to dolphins their life span was extended by 74%. Unfortunately his escape route led through the African veldt exhibit. The resident lions were busy eating an antelope and didn't notice him so he was successful in his quest. He is awaiting trial for "transporting young gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises."